Why Social Media Makes You Feel Unhappy
Written by: Alishba Mahmood, HBSc, University of Toronto
Editor/Design: Kimmy Sze, MPS candidate, Knox College, University of Toronto
Do you compare your life to the seemingly perfect, vibrant lives of others on social media? Do you feel the urge to scroll endlessly through perfect pictures (ex. exotic vacations, flawless selfies, dream jobs) and feel like your own life is missing its spark? Social media is a common trigger for feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life, even among those who appear to have it all together online.
Is Social Media Anxiety A Real Thing?
Researchers describe “social media anxiety” as the stress, self-doubt and overwhelm that many people feel when engaging with platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, X (formerly Twitter), etc. Excessive social media use is associated with increased anxiety and depression-like symptoms, especially in young adults.
Social media likely stems from:
- Comparing Yourself to Others: Watching others’ life highlights can make your own life feel boring or less successful.
- A Fear of Judgement: Worrying about how you will be perceived by others online, or whether your posts receive enough likes, can lead to feelings of disappointment or insecurity.
- Pressure to Perform: Feeling pressure to present a perfect version of yourself online.
- Information Overload: Doom scrolling can leave you feeling drained and disconnected from the present reality. Since it’s easy to get swept up in negative content, it can reinforce a sense of helplessness and distress, which can make you feel worse over time.
- FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): Watching others constantly enjoy experiences like parties, vacations, etc, can create an attachment to social media, leading to mental fatigue and emotional burnout.
At the heart of this anxiety is the habit of comparing your reality to someone else’s carefully edited facade. But these comparisons are often unfair because they’re not based on truth.²
The Problem With Comparing Yourself With Others
Social media shows us snapshots of people’s lives, not stories. Studies reveal that social media leads to an increased trend in social comparison, where users measure themselves against idealized images, leading to lower self-esteem and increased anxiety.³
Here’s why false comparisons can harm your mental health:
- Distorted Reality: Filters, editing apps, and selective posting create an unrealistic standard that no one truly lives up to.
- Lowered Self-Esteem: Constantly measuring yourself against others’ “success” can erode your confidence and sense of worth, as research links frequent social media comparison to reduced self-perception.¹
- Increased Anxiety: The gap between your life and what you see online can fuel feelings of inadequacy or failure.
- Isolation: Believing everyone else is doing better than you are thriving can make you feel alone in your struggles, which can result in retreating from loved ones altogether for fear of not measuring up.
- Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: One may also turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or addictions, which can worsen mental health.
The truth is, most people face challenges, doubts, and off-days that don’t make it online.
Steps to Break Free from the Comparison Trap
Ready to take control? Here are some practical steps to start reclaiming your peace:
- Limit Your Screen Time: Set specific times for checking social media and stick to them. Apps like Instagram allow you to set daily reminders.
- Curate Your Feed: Unfollow accounts that make you feel less-than and follow ones that inspire or uplift you authentically.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to your online presence. Celebrate your real, unfiltered moments.
- Focus on Real Connections: Spend time with loved ones or engage in hobbies that bring you joy offline.
- Reach Out for Support: Contact our counselling clinic to connect with a therapist who can guide you through this journey. We’re here to help.
How Psychological Support Can Help
If social media is leaving you anxious or stuck in a cycle of comparison, psychological support can be a game-changer. Here’s how it can make a difference:
1. A Safe Space to Unpack Feelings
Therapy offers a judgment-free zone to identify patterns and challenge negative thoughts that may arise when you use social media.
2. Building Self-Worth
Professional support can guide you in rediscovering your value beyond likes or followers. You’ll learn to focus on what truly matters to you.
3. Developing Healthier Habits
A therapist can teach strategies to manage social media use, like setting boundaries, curating your feed, or taking breaks to reconnect with real life.
4. Coping with Anxiety
Therapy equips you with tools, like mindfulness or cognitive techniques, to reduce anxiety and stay grounded, even when the scroll tempts you to compare.
The Bright Side of Social Media
While it’s normal to occasionally feel down because of social media, it’s important to remember that it has many positive effects too. With just a tap on your phone, you can instantly connect with your loved ones, no matter the distance. It is also easier to discover people around the world who share your interests, creating opportunities to learn from one another and flourish together. Sharing or engaging with inspiring content, such as relatable quotes or videos, can remind us that we’re not alone in our struggles. Most importantly, social media gives you a platform to express who you are or aspire to be. When used mindfully, it can be a tool for self-empowerment, creativity, and personal growth.
Your Life is Valuable Too
Ever catch yourself using social media as an escape from everyday life, or thinking your life online doesn’t measure up to the dazzling posts you see? Here’s the truth: social media doesn’t define your worth. At the Grace Health Centre, we’re here to support you in navigating social media anxiety with confidence, helping you embrace your authentic self and find joy in your own story.
References:
Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social Comparisons On Social Media: The Impact Of Facebook On Young Women’s Body Image Concerns And Mood. Body Image, 13, 38–45. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2014.12.002
2. Primack, B. A., Shensa, A., Sidani, J. E., Whaite, E. O., Lin, L. Y., Rosen, D., Colditz, J. B., Radovic, A., & Miller, E. (2017). Social Media Use And Perceived Social Isolation Among Young Adults In The U.S. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 53(1), 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2017.01.010
3. Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social Comparison, Social Media, And Self-Esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222. https://doi.org/10.1037/ppm0000047
