How to Take Care of Your Marriage? A Preventive Approach!
Written by: Alishba Mahmood, Specialist in Mental Health Studies (HBSc), University of Toronto
Editor/Design: Kimmy Sze, MPS candidate, Knox College, University of Toronto
You shared vows and said ‘I do’ to your partner on your wedding day. It was a commitment you made to protect, love and grow the love you have together. This commitment comes easily sometimes, but when different life challenges come at you unexpectedly like waves in the storm, it can become hard to protect the relationship.
Here, we will share some simple preventative tips to help you maintain a strong and fulfilling marriage so that you’ll be more ready when the storm comes
1. Understand the Meaning of Love:
Take some time to reflect on what love means to you and your partner. We all have different ways of expressing love and receiving love. Take the 5 Love Languages assessment to learn more about your love languages. Clarify the significance of your relationship and why you chose to get married. By having a clear understanding of love and you express it, you can both navigate your relationship better and avoid misunderstandings.
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2. Effective Communication:
Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a happy marriage. Regularly express your needs, feelings, and concerns to your partner, and encourage them to do the same in using “I” Statements, versus “You” Statements while avoiding “always” and “never” as they can come across as criticizing in other’s character. For example, saying “I feel sad and lonely that you didn’t stop watching TV to talk to me.” instead of “You don’t care about talking to me and always watch TV all the time.” Good communication skills will strengthen your connection and prevent conflicts.
3. Active Listening:
Active listening and striving to understand each other can be practiced in 2 steps. First, take a dedicated moment to be in total focus in hearing what the other is saying in their words, speed, and melody to understand the others’ desire, emotions and struggles. Second, reflect what you have heard, seen and understood what the other has said back to your partner to confirm that this is what they said. When we can gift our loved ones with active listening, it can deepen our connection and love.
4. Discuss Values and Expectations:
Before tying the knot, have open discussions about your values, beliefs, and expectations for your marriage and each other. Make sure you are on the same page to avoid future misunderstandings.
5. Set Shared Goals Together:
Create a shared vision for your future as a couple. Discuss your goals, such as starting a family, settling down, or career aspirations. By planning together, you will feel more united as a team and have a clear direction to work towards.
6. Conflict Resolution:
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Learn healthy ways to resolve conflicts by practicing compromise and active listening. Discover effective strategies to handle disagreements without resorting to arguments. Remember, resolving conflicts together strengthens your bond.
7. Consider Relationship Counseling:
If you find these tips overwhelming or want additional support, you may consider seeking premarital counseling. Professional guidance can help you build a strong foundation for your marriage and address any concerns proactively. Asking for help is a proactive step towards ensuring a lasting relationship.
Taking preventive care of your marriage is essential for its long-term success. By understanding love, practicing effective communication, discussing values, setting goals, mastering conflict resolution, and seeking professional support when needed, you can create a strong and fulfilling marital bond. Remember, investing time and effort in your relationship will lead to a lifetime of happiness together.
*Disclaimer: The information in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Should you have been struggling any emotional or mental health challenges and would like to seek professional helps, please talk to your family physician, or professionals like Registered Social Worker or Registered Psychotherapists.
